What to do when the Russians come
A survivor’s guide
Conquest
1985
Completing our trifecta of red scare material, here is a great book describing how you too can survive the occupation of the Soviets. This particular book needs to be in an archive since it really does capture the hysteria of the cold war. (Did you notice one of the author’s name?) I wonder if these guys thought about a second edition after 1989?
Mary
21 responses so far ↓
Jude // September 17, 2009 at 8:11 pm |
Back in the 1970s, I asked my dad why he still held onto his hunting rifle when he hadn’t hunted in decades. He replied, “So I can defend our home if the Russians invade.” I thought that was hilarious–that the Russians would manage to get all the way to Colorado so he could defend us. I mentioned this to one of his best friends, and instead of laughing he replied, “That’s why I’m keeping my rifle too.”
MoxieHart // September 17, 2009 at 9:17 pm |
I was born in 83 and I actually remember doing duck and cover practice at my original elementary school in Staten Island. I’m not sure if it was to protect us from the Soviets or the dump’s eventual, inevitable explosion.
jamisings // September 18, 2009 at 9:43 pm |
Really? In 83 in my school they were teaching us that robots were going to take over all our jobs and we would die in the coming ice age. By 85 they were blaming the robot thing on Regan.
I do remember when communism fell in Russia they made us all go to a big assembly to explain it to us. I asked the guy “If it fell in Russia does that mean it’ll fall in China too?” He never gave me an answer. Instead he talked about how Russian leaders would hide out in China.
wyogranny // September 19, 2009 at 5:29 pm |
Dear Moxie
I’ve been trying to find your blog, but the one I can locate is years old, so I’m going to write one last comment and hope ALB will be patient enough to let it appear. What I’m trying to do here is apologize for my bad behavior. First I don’t have any advanced degrees, just a plain old bachelors plus 45 hours. Second I haven’t read Kapital, although I have read the others. Third I am not up on the current preferred nomenclature for the various iterations of sexual preferences.
Now the following are the things I’m not sorry about. I believe that behaviors have consequences. I believe that history can be a pretty accurate projector of what to expect in the future. I believe people need to know as much information as they can when they make a decision. I believe in God. I believe He loves us and wants us to be happy. I believe Jesus Christ died for us and that his atonement is infinite. I have historical as well as ancestral knowledge of communism and alternative marriage arrangements because I am a member of the Mormon Church and my ancestors practiced plural marriage and the united order. I believe a pure form of communism with righteous people and God at the head is the perfect form of government and democracy as written in the Constitution is the most perfect form of government that can be lived in this world. These beliefs form and inform my life and the lives of my husband and children and grandchildren.
What I mean for you to understand is the following—You do not have to be “terrified” of me unless you are terrified of the truth of my beliefs. You can go ahead and tell anyone you want that you pwn me. It won’t change me and it won’t change you. My conscience is now clear and I can sleep at night, I hope the same for you and as “terrifying” as the following may be to you I will pray for your happiness.
hillel.kitty // September 17, 2009 at 9:26 pm |
Trifecta? or troika?
KateNonymous // September 17, 2009 at 9:37 pm |
Maybe the authors wrote this right after seeing Red Dawn.
llanelliboy // September 17, 2009 at 9:55 pm |
Is this by the same Robert Conquest that wrote wonderful books about the Soviet Union?
Fnarf // September 17, 2009 at 10:06 pm |
Yes, it is. Conquest was a serious author; I’m not sure what he’s getting up to here. Maybe he’s providing the real historical context to the other guy’s hysteria (show trials, yes; eating babies no).
Maria // September 18, 2009 at 12:46 am |
As soon as I saw this, I went to Barnes and Noble’s website and bought a copy from a reseller.
For my personal collection! Not for a library! I promise!
librarianchat // September 18, 2009 at 12:47 am |
Call Powers Boothe
Quiddity // September 18, 2009 at 3:09 am |
I wish I got that when it was being offered for sale (way back when). Robert Conquest is/was supposed to be a serious historian, so I was curious what he had to say.
Alex // September 18, 2009 at 7:46 am |
But I always thought you had Chuck Norris then to defend you.
Nicole // September 18, 2009 at 9:36 am |
Wolverines!
PB // September 18, 2009 at 11:34 am |
I always thought that Robert Conquest’s parents missed an opportunity by not calling him Norman…
Sorry.
Heather Eddy // September 18, 2009 at 12:14 pm |
We have this in our system! I put a request in for it to be sent to my branch. I lurve stuff like this…
shelly // September 18, 2009 at 12:30 pm |
A lost opportunity. Why did I think of naming my son Manchip?
ColoradoDan // September 18, 2009 at 4:23 pm |
Beware the rusky pockyclipse…
Salamander Sam // September 18, 2009 at 8:39 pm |
That reminds me of a book called “War in 2020″ that I saw at a thrift store recently. Of course, it was about the Soviet Union causing World War III. The thing is, it was published in 1991, which means that the author probably didn’t even start on it until after the Soviet Union fell…
Bringing Him Back // September 18, 2009 at 11:21 pm |
What advice does it give?
elen // September 21, 2009 at 1:40 am |
I HAVE THIS! Our university library had placed it in the “Free Books” section, and I thought it to hilarious to ignore. Never opened it, though. The cover is enough.
Graham // December 9, 2009 at 12:13 am |
I used to work with a bunch of conservative guys about 5 years ago, and from out of nowhere, this book showed up. Needless to say, it made the rounds with all of us, and I still remember some passage about how (and I’m quoting from memory) “Homosexuals would need to stop their deviant ways.”
What made this book even more deliciously stupid after going on for several hundred pages about how men with long hair would have to get haircuts (… when the Russians come), it then has a chapter listing all the ways that the United States would win if we ever got in a war with the USSR, thereby defeating the ENTIRE PREMISE OF THE BOOK!